I saw Hermione kissing Ron!
by Amme1212
Summary: It all starts out when Harry sees Hermione kiss Ron... they argue about it while passing notes.(intro) It all trails into an wacky adventure.. OOTP spoilers!
1. Intro

9:00: Charms  
  
Ron,  
  
You evil demon! I want to hit you in the face with a bludger this Saturday.  
  
Harry  
  
*  
  
Harry,  
  
Why do you want to hit me on the face with a bludger? I'm a Keeper, you know.  
  
Ron  
  
*  
  
Ron,  
  
I SAW you and Hermione kiss.  
  
Harry  
  
*  
  
Harry,  
  
We didn't kiss! It wasn't our fault that I fell and Ron caught me!  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
Hey guys.  
  
I saw Hermione trip but it was fake!  
  
Neville  
  
*  
  
Neville,  
  
Stay out of this it's our fight!  
  
Ron  
  
*  
  
Ron,  
  
Don't be so rude you idiot!  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
Harry,  
  
Professor Flitwick is getting suspicious. ah well, he'll take awhile to get here, he's too small.  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
Hermione,  
  
Never thought you'd say something bad about a teacher! You're getting to be one of us!  
  
Harry and Ron  
  
*  
  
Harry and Ron,  
  
I am one of you! Ron's a prefect, you know!  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
Hermione,  
  
You crap head! It's not my fault the Fickle little Dumbledore didn't want me to be a prefect . He chose the freckle-faced kisser instead.  
  
Harry  
  
*  
  
Harry and Ron,  
  
This is a very important lesson! Pay attention!  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
Harry,  
  
She's right. And then we won't be able to copy from her! Oh no!  
  
Ron  
  
*  
  
Hermione,  
  
PAY ATTENTION!  
  
Harry and Ron  
  
P.S Or else we'll tattle to Professor McGonagall about you jinxing Malfoy in Potions class.  
  
*  
  
Harry and Ron,  
  
I am paying attention! You're distracting me!  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
HERMIONE, HARRY, RON!  
  
PROFESSOR FLITWICK IS COMING! GOOD LUCK!  
  
Neville  
  
*  
  
HARRY POTTER, HERMIONE GRANGER, RONALD WEASLEY AND NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM,  
  
DETINTION! NO PASSING NOTES!  
  
Professor Flitwick  
  
*  
  
Harry,  
  
This sucks! You started it!  
  
Ron  
  
*  
  
Neville,  
  
Oh great. Here we go again..  
  
Hermione  
  
*  
  
How'd you like it! If you want me to have another chapter, tell me in your reviews! No, review or else! :P  
  
Amme1212 


	2. I Saw Moomy Kissing Santa Claus twisted!

A/N: Thanks for reviewing all! It's improved my spirits greatly. This chappie will be funny and insane, so please enjoy it! Lol! I won't make you, though. So here it is, the long awaited chapter 2!  
  
*  
  
Harry hummed 'I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' as he sat in the common room, doing homework with Ron and Hermione. He was the teeniest bit mad about the two 'kissing.' But he let it go, he couldn't hold a grudge for very long.  
  
"What are you humming? Some Muggle tune?" Ron asked suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah. well it is Christmas, and it's just a little catchy tune." Harry replied, smirking.  
  
"Well, then sing it." Hermione told him. "Maybe I can sing along too."  
  
"Spare us, Hermione, spare us!" Ron raised his hands in mock defeat.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Go on, Harry."  
  
"Well," Harry took a deep breath. "Here I go."  
  
"I saw Hermione kissing Ron  
  
Under the Gryffindor banner  
  
Oh what a laugh it would've been  
  
If Dumbledore could have seen  
  
Hermione kissing Ron so passionately-"  
  
"HARRY!!!!!!" Ron bellowed, tackling his best friend to the ground. "Don't sing that!" His ears went the deepest shade of scarlet, the darkest Harry had seen. The common room was dead silent, everyone staring.  
  
Harry rolled on the floor; laughing so hard he could swear his ribs had cracked.  
  
Hermione was blushing furiously. "That wasn't funny, Harry." She put simply. "Well, I'm turning in early tonight. My homework is done anyways."  
  
Ron stared as she gathered her books and left for the girl's dormitories. Ron gave Harry an angry look, grabbed his unfinished homework and books, and headed for the boys dormitories.  
  
"Nice going mate." Seamus Finnigan grinned at Harry. "That was pretty funny."  
  
Harry looked gloomily at the fellow 6th year. "I guess. I just had to let out the bit of anger that I had."  
  
Seamus nodded. "Well it was funny."  
  
Harry miserably finished the rest of his Transfiguration, gathered his books, and left. He changed quickly, set out his books for the next day, and set his glasses on his bedside table.  
  
"Ron?" He whispered. No answer. There was a chorus of 'I saw Hermione kissing Ron' downstairs, and Harry began to whisper: "I saw Hermione kissing Ron-"  
  
"Oy Harry! Enough already! So Hermione tripped and I caught her! No big deal.." Ron exclaimed.  
  
"I thought you were asleep!" Harry smiled through the darkness. "I just had to say that."  
  
"I know, mate, I know." Ron sighed. "Do you.. well. miss Sirius?"  
  
Harry's high spirits swooped down as low as they could go. Gloom dropped in side of him, making his stomach heavy. His eyes filled with tears, and he wiped at them furiously. "Yeah." Harry mumbled, and turned over so Ron couldn't see him.  
  
Ron realized this. "Bloody hell, I'm sorry Harry. You have no relatives left. Sorry."  
  
Harry shifted uncomfortably and didn't reply until he could hear Ron's snores. To lighten his spirits, he began to sing, 'I saw Hermione kissing Ron."  
  
A/N: I know the lyrics didn't fit that great, but it was hard! Alright, so it wasn't insane! The next one will be, the note-passing thing was an intro. This was chapter was only a bit on it, the next one will be wacky, insane, and crazy. Okay? Alright! Stay tuned.. ::evil laugh::  
  
Disclaimer: Forgot to put it on! Sorry! Well, I don't own 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' OR 'I Saw Hermione Kissing Ron' (the song) because my stupid brother made it up. ::grumbles:: Also, I don't own Harry Potter or any other characters. It all belongs to the talented, fascinating, greatest fantasy writer of all time (she's tied with Robert Jordan) J.K Rowling! 


	3. Cleaning Fight

A/N: Thank you Pattra for the idea! I have to give her the credit of this idea! This is going to be an interesting chapter, all!  
  
Detention.. 9:00 p.m  
  
Harry trudged out to Professor Flitwick's office with Hermione, Ron, and Neville. Professor Flitwick looked at all of them with plain amusement.  
  
"Have fun in detention. You get to clean this classroom out so I can see myself shining in the dirtiest spot. No magic allowed." He pointed towards the many mops, brooms, and feather dusters piled by his desk. "I expect you to be done in two hours. Good luck." He left the room triumphantly.  
  
"Bloody hell," Ron whispered. "Professor Flitwick must've sent a pair of Pixies in here! It's a mess!" Indeed it was. Hermione heaved a sigh.  
  
"I guess we better start." They all grabbed a cleaning device and began to work. After about 15 minutes, Harry grew very bored. Ron wasn't used to this, he kept on asking when he should dip his mop in the pail and Hermione and him grew very annoyed with it.  
  
"What's this?" Ron suddenly asked, picking up a feather duster and sniffing it as if it was dangerous. "This is definitely odd."  
  
Hermione gave a grunt of frustration and picked up her pail of water, starting towards Ron. Harry snorted as he saw what she was going to do.  
  
"What is it, Harry?" Ron turned towards Harry, exactly opposite where Hermione was coming. "You would know.. What are you snorting about? Harry?"  
  
"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!" screamed Hermione, and emptied her pail that was full of soapy hot water on Ron's head. Neville and Harry collapsed with laughter.  
  
"I just wanted to know what it was." Said Ron in a small voice. He was dripping with water, holding the soggy feather duster in his hand. His voice was full of mock hurt ness. Harry saw through it, but obviously Hermione didn't.  
  
"Aw, I'm sorry Ron!" cried Hermione and threw her arms around him. Ron's face grew evil and he withdrew, then picked up his pail and before Hermione could move away, he dumped it on her. She shrieked.  
  
With a roar Harry and Neville grabbed their pails and poured them on each other. For a moment it was silent. No one moved. The four dripping Gryffindor's stared at each other, and then raced to the corner of the room for more cleaning weapons. Ron seized another pail of water, another feather duster, and a broom.  
  
"LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!" bellowed Neville and they all began to fight with their weapons. Harry dipped his mop in Hermione's pail, she yelled loudly and began to slap Harry with her broom. Harry yowled in pain and thrashed Hermione across the face with his mop. The two fought against each other while Neville and Ron fought-wait for it- feather duster against feather duster!  
  
"Take that!" Ron exclaimed thrusting his feather duster in Neville's face. The four of them made such a loud racket that Professor Flitwick came bursting in. He looked at the four in dismay.  
  
"What have you been doing?" he squealed. Then he glanced around the sparkling Charms class. The fighting must have made it all clean! "Wow! You've really done it. I'm amazed. You. may. go." He finished and left quickly.  
  
"That.. was.. fun.." Harry said and the other three Gryffindor's laughed.  
  
"It was." Agreed Hermione. As they left, Hermione muttered, "Watch out, all, I need to get you all back."  
  
* *  
* *  
  
A/N: Uh-oh! What does clever Hermione have up her sleeve? You'll have to wait for the next chapter. bwaha! Now, review! 


End file.
